First Day Feels: How to Support Both You AND Your Child When They Start School

The school bell hasn’t even rung yet, and already your heart feels like it’s about to.

If you're a mum getting ready to send your four, or five-year-old off to school this September - you’re not alone.

That nervous flutter? Totally normal. That lump in your throat? Expected.

And guess what? Your child’s probably feeling some version of that too. Even if they’re not saying it out loud.

Let’s talk about how to support the both of you during this huge transition.

💭 What Your Child Might Be Feeling:

Even if they seem excited, here are some common silent worries that little ones carry:

• “What if I need you and you’re not there?”

• “What if I don’t know where to go?”

• “What if no one plays with me?”

They won’t always use those exact words—but they’ll show you through clinginess, meltdowns, or bedtime struggles.

💓 What You Might Be Feeling:

Let’s be real: it’s not just the kids who are feeling things.

You might be thinking:

* “They’re still so little.”

* “Will the teacher *really* understand their quirks?”

* “Am I doing enough to prepare them?”

Maybe you’re trying to act cool and calm while your insides are screaming.

Here’s How to Support Your Child and Yourself

1. Create a “Worry Tool” for Your Child

Give them something tangible to carry.

• A “worry stone” in their pocket they can rub when they miss you

• A small heart sticker on their hand—“When you press this, imagine I’m hugging you”

• A tiny note in their lunchbox with a picture of you and them

These small sensory anchors remind them they’re safe, even when apart.

2. Practice the Drop-Off Dance Ahead of Time

Walk the route. Visit the school gates. Do pretend school drop-offs with stuffed animals.

➡️ Familiarity shrinks fear.

Make it playful, not pressured. “Let’s pretend Teddy’s going to school today—what will he do first?”

3. Use Breathing Games Together

You AND your child benefit from nervous system regulation.

• Blow bubbles slowly (great for practicing long exhales)

• Smell the flower, blow out the candle (inhale, exhale)

• Use a breathing square on paper: trace along the sides slowly as you breathe in… hold… out… hold.

4. Create a Morning “Connection Ritual”

One short, predictable activity you do every school morning to feel grounded.

• Dance party for 2 minutes

• Reading one silly book

• Coloring side-by-side for 5 minutes

• Special “goodbye handshake”

It tells their brain: “I’m safe. I’m loved. I can do this.”

5. Support for You

Because if you’re running on guilt, fear, or overwhelm—your child feels that, even if you’re silent.

• Pause...... and breathe before you speak. Even one long exhale resets your nervous system.

• Write a letter to your child and don’t send it—just let your feelings out.

• Get support. Whether that’s a friend, a doula, or just texting another mum who gets it.

• Eat something. Sit down. Hydrate. You’re not a machine—you’re a MUM

Final Thought:

Supporting a smooth school transition isn’t about being perfect.

It’s about creating safety—emotional and physical—so your child AND you feel held through it all.

You’re allowed to cry in the car after drop-off. You’re allowed to feel conflicted.

That doesn’t make you weak—it makes you human.